5 Early Thoughts on my Research Project

This topic fits well, like a comfortable new coat. It’s warm and fuzzy and just right. BUT being me I know I have to analyze why, so here are some musings.

1. I am a Libra. I do not check my horoscope daily and have never had a star chart done, but over the years Libra definitions have been close to describing me to a T. I crave balance and seek justice in everything which often causes trouble for me, because things are not always balanced and just. My friend ETL brought it to my attention that as a Libra I would be drawn to drag queens because, in her words, “Drag queens…have the whole anima/animus deal down”. In my thoughts they’re playing both sides of the field beautifully.

2. It looks fun! I may uncover some dark sides, but at least on the surface drag looks like a party every night. Yes, it’s a job and needs to be taken seriously as a form of self-expression. And YES it feels like it will be a celebration. Whether that celebration is a declaration of flying one’s freak flag to say I AM HERE or an escape from the hopelessness of wondering if it will ever get better or both I want to embrace that celebration.

3. Dress up. As a teenager and new adult I was involved in theater and loved the hair, make up, and costume preparation that went into being on stage. Halloween was my favorite holiday. Drag looks like it is dress up on uppers! Eyeliner, spandex, and wigs…oh my YES! WIGS! I can hardly wait to transform, pick a drag name, and strut my stuff. I want to play dress up with the big girls!

4. About that freak flag I was 14 when I had a heart transplant, 23 when I lost my sister to the same genetic disease I have, and 25 when I started having trouble walking only to end up needing a wheelchair. My freak flag is wide and billowing. I have for decades been other than whatever “normal” is. I feel this might be one of the best sororities for me to explore.

5. Why not? I spent a good part of my early life doubting myself. So much never occurred to me to try until women and men ahead of me suggested I might try it, e.g.: write my memoir, use a surrogate to have our baby, start a multi-media project based on my chest scar. Asking why makes me tired. Asking why not only ever conjures up one response, no reason.

I am looking forward to this journey. I can not go into this with no preconceived notions, because I am human. That being said my mind is wide open and I hope you’ll join me on the journey through it.     

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